I'm auditioning for The Citadel Theatre next week and I'm kind of freaking out, so I thought what better place to come and spill my innards than this lovely blog of mine (which I know I've neglected; chalk that up to moving, jumping into a new life and having a best friend's wedding all within a month and a half – the wedding was amazing, by the way. Thanks for asking!). And I've got about 10 minutes before I have to leave, so I better spill quick!
See, I've never really been good at auditions... I actually take that back. When I was auditioning for Orpheus Musical Theatre Society I actually always felt really confident about my auditioning abilities. Probably the reason for that is I only had to prepare a song, something that's really easy for me, and the acting and dancing bits were done cold or learned once I got to Orpheus House; there wasn't time for me to overthink the acting. For something like the Citadel audition, however, I have to have a monologue prepared, an area where I feel my skill has slipped, thanks to this overthinking thing I do. Though I've been working on this particular monologue for a while, I'm finding that the closer I get to the audition, the worse my memory seems to be, and the more frustrated I become. It's in times like these that the evil gremlins start to haunt me, echoing choruses of "You're not good enough" and "You're going to fail" and "Nanananana you suck" over and over again.
I know that as performers we're supposed to be confident and sure of ourselves, especially if we want to get the job, but it's just hard sometimes. I guess what I'm saying is that I just need a hug and some kind words from someone who isn't me. Maybe if someone else says it I'll believe it.
God bless and all the love!